Selective Amnesia There was a point to this. But I forgot.

31Oct/075

Mukesh Ambani’s house

Dear Sheelah and few other journalists,

Yes. It is a big house. And yes, it’s calculated to fuck your senses. So?
And oh, leave the guy do what he is good at, no? Why fucking care about disparity and simmering class conflict? Why compare to the Tatas?
How many times will I have to read the growth-not-yet-growth and the seventy-percent-of-indians-in-poverty lines on a story about India? Any fucking story? Sports, films, business, Internet, healthcare, sex, education and how many more are they? If you need help coming up with a new cliche, let me know. I have some experience in the field.

Thank you, and please, again, let the man do what he wants to, no?

C

Filed under: Rant 5 Comments
28Oct/078

A Chennai photowalk.

All right then. I am back in Madras. And because I am bored, easily distracted and have nothing more pressing to do than ironing my clothes, and am apparently one of the better photographers in town (a viewpoint I don’t share. But what to do? Fans insist!) I have decided to let you all into my secret. I am thinking of going on one of those (currently) popular photo-walk thingummies.

The idea is simple. More importantly, the idea is not mine. This idea, which I shall illustrate lucidly, presently, was given to me by the soon-to-be-popular-er-than-J.Jayalalita, Monica. Direct all thanks and worldly-possessions her way.

Right then. To the idea.

I will decide on a time and place to begin walking, and a time and place to end the walk begun in the previous sentence. In between those two times and places, I will try and click as many photos as possible of as many things as possible that catches my fancy. I shall also attempt to impart my extra-ordinary skill and over-whelming knowledge about photography and Madras (both respectively and other wise) (the latter remark – about Madras knowledge – is not as sarcastic as you might believe) to anybody who cares to listen and/or learn. I am hoping there are enough of both. Now, in return for giving me company as I delude myself, I shall try make the routes as interesting as possible (some friends would vouch for my knowledge of places to go to in Madras) and the learning as fun.

If you are game for it, and providing global-warming and Gore are OK with it too, leave a comment. Who knows, this might even become an annual fixture, along with Rajni films, Statue erections (don’t ya just love that word?) and December season.

And oh, if you want to take part, I’d appreciate if you left a valid email id along with your comment. It would be a tad difficult giving lessons in photography to an anonymous coward.

Filed under: Blog World, Photos 8 Comments
28Oct/071

A question, this time for all.

How long does a cliche have to wait before it becomes a proverb?

Filed under: Asides 1 Comment
28Oct/071

Questions for Madras folks.

1) When did Jaffer’s go out of business? And why?
2) What would it take, money and expertise wise, to bring it back?
3) How about Buhari?

4) Triva time. A famous statue in the most central of Madras’ location, is modelled after a character in a historical romance. This statue (or, statues) was erected in protest of a government decision to ban a sport. Your question – identify the statue, the character in the epic, and the sport that was banned.

26Oct/071

A lesson in English

Dear Ignoramus I overheard in the mall today,

Please learn something. Take it to heart, and never ever forget this. You cope.

You can clean up, mop up, sweep up, or keep up. You can eat up, drink up, and light up if you don’t care for your health. You can soup your car up. You can wind your clock up. You can back your files up. You can wash up after you cook. You can keep up with the current events. You can dry up if you run out of ideas.

You don’t cope up. You cope.

Thank you.

Lalita

Filed under: Rant 1 Comment
23Oct/070

The Ebbinghaus curve of forgetting and why it’s wrong.

(Note: I originally wrote this piece under the title “The power of the collective conscious” for the Indibloggies 2005, when I was this all-powerful, all-knowing Juror. Fancy title, no? That’s why I am a copywriter and make big bucks. Not!)

Long ago, so long ago, there lived a great person. Herman Ebbinghaus. Or not so great. I ain’t debating that. Nevertheless, this person did exist. And he did do something in life. What, you might ask. Well, he came up with some thing called the Ebbinghaus Curve of Forgetting.

Big, big words. Very simple thought. No matter what the subject matter is, a given piece of learning is forgotten by more than half its audience in one hour.

Remember this very carefully. In exactly one hour, I will give you folks a surprise test. And we’ll prove Herr Ebbinghaus wrong.

That, folks, is the subject of this rather rambling piece. That blogs defeat the Ebbinghaus Theory. A blog, by its very nature, tends to keep issues and learning fresh in the mind of its readers, and by extension the society. Back in 2003, when I began my own blog, the issues mostly discussed on blogosphere were to do with Congress, BJP’s succession plans, politics, scams, Iraq, corruption, death penalty, and bad jokes and PJs. In 2005, we, the blogosphere, are still discussing Congress, BJP and its leaders, politics, scams, corruption and PJs which kill more people than the death penalty. And that can only mean one thing. That we bloggers, rarely, if ever, forget some thing of importance. Or even something trivial.

The reasons for that are many. One: the bloggers themselves. We all blog or write for we are passionate about it and not because we are paid to do so. Which means, we will only write what we strongly believe in. And where there’s belief, there’s conviction. Which ensures that the subject we write about don’t die a quick death. Second, is the nature of the web and the way blogs are interlinked.

Ravikiran Rao has the answer. To quote him,

The blogosphere through its technology and culture gives me a way to find good blogs. The technology part consists of the hyperlink, permanent archives and permalinks. The culture part is the bloggers’ bewildering habit of talking about each other, criticising one another and building on one another’s posts. The technology and culture support each other. One would not have been possible without the other. Because good blogs link to each other, even ones they disagree with, I have but to find one decent blog and it tends to open the door to a great number of other good blogs for me.

Which, translated to every day English, means that we are an incestuous bunch of people and will keep picking on everybody’s thoughts. Which tells you why we hardly, if ever, forget an issue.

Take the recent IIPM issue. Over 4-5 months passed since the original JAM story came out, but one blogger didn’t forget the issue. Gaurav took up the thread on his own blog. And got slapped with a ridiculous case. Rashmi was libeled. But the blogosphere retaliated. It’s been close to two months since then. The topic has anything but died down.*

And neither will it ever. We bloggers, and the networks we establish, both offline and online, will ensure that enough people are made to know of the tall claims and arm twisting ways of IIPM.

Enough has been said about IIPM. Take the case of Pradyuman Maheshwari and his Mediaah! The first thing I told myself when the IIPM issue was current was that it had the exact same features as that of Mediaah! That of big business trying to squeeze the underdog. And if I, a person prone to memory loss, can remember an issue well into the past, I am sure all of you can do much better.

The other thing that comes into play is the power of syndication and RSS. Whatever you write, you can be sure, will find an audience somewhere. And will stay permanently in one form or another. My own blog is read mostly through the RSS feed I provide. Most of yours too. The XML feed ensures that your words and your convictions are easily syndicated and transmitted. Helping to carry your message across a wider pool and keeping it current.

The way the average blog is structured also goes a long way in making sure what you write stays permanent. At least, as permanent as current technologies allow it to be. I am talking of course, about archives.

Everything you write is neatly tagged, sorted and put on permanent display. Mummified, even. And when the time comes, just one click is all the magic spell you need to revive your mummy and let it wreak havoc on those who want to get away with whatever they are trying to get away with.

Finally, I would like to mention the power of the collective conscious. ‘Tis a tricky thing, the collective conscious. Much like god, it is very difficult to prove either it exists or not. But it sure wields, again like the godhead, an interesting and important influence in our lives. If enough people make enough noise about a subject, you can be sure it will be heard even on the far side of the moon. And that’s what blogs do. And the more you repeat a certain something, the more you commit it to memory. Also, being part of this nebulous CC helps if you are prone to memory loss. Somebody, somewhere, always knows exactly what it is we all are shouting about and that will only jog your own memory back to life.

So here’s to the fantastic ability of blogs and bloggers to take up causes and keep the flame burning bright.**

Amen.

  • That issue is now long dead. Where the fuck is Mr. Ponytail, anyway?

**I know. Tad too optimistic. I’m sorry – I was naive in 2005. Not that I am not now, but I have now learnt to identify symptoms of naivety and take appropriate action.

Filed under: Blog World No Comments
17Oct/074

Teflon: Not what you think it is.

Chenthil and I, in what is now practiced ease for us, came up with a new addition to the modern English dictionary.

Teflon.

We are still debating the nuances (finer nuances?) of this particular word, but I hope the following chat transcript makes its meaning clear for you good folks.

Chenthil: enna sir – where now, dumeel kuppam?
me: yes
Chenthil: went to movie?
me: no. haven’t
need to
Chenthil: so which agency in delhi now, another WPP?
me: nope
I can’t announce this till it actually happens, so sorry.
Chenthil: so what I heard is true. You are going as media consultant to Sonia Gandhi
me: No comments
Chenthil: all the best, if HE catches Naidu, you can catch sonia
me: seen the big group blog recently?
major heart burn and all
allegations, thick and fast
and tempests in tea pots
Chenthil: what allegations?
me: read read
Chenthil: i saw lot of links to hindu articles
me: Dude is on board
Chenthil: mail thread or blog
me: blog
no more threads
I am not n threads
Chenthil: I still get the threads. sounded very silly in a reaction to a commenter, in the thread

....

me: well, a good king is succeeded by a bad one. so I am not very heartbroken at that
Oh wait
I am sending you mails
and the one teh man sent me when i moved to dubai
Chenthil: reminds me of a story written by that thief valmiki about a brother holding place for another who goes on a 14 years trek
I would have been dehydrated with puking if I received such a mail
me: hehh!
I wanted to reply with a little more sarcasm to his mail
but it would have been lost on him
absolutely lost
Chenthil: brilliant man – he is more teflon than HE
me: super word that
teflon
Chenthil: you can even coin an adjective – he is a teflonic man
me: and verbs
perhaps not verbs
wait
whatever you tell him, it teflons off
I tefloned his accusations
Chenthil: his brain is like teflon, nothing sticks on to it
me: he tefloned his way to the top
there are some people whose only occupation is to teflon
I teflon, you teflon….why you middle middle dosa-kallu?
Chenthil: their relationship was like a teflon embracing another, both trying to slide away
me: :)
our opinions were mutually teflonish
we spent the evening tefloning at a coffee shop
Chenthil: that is brilliant
this comment is not teflonic thought
though
me: we are on to something here.
My job was tefloned. (like bangalored)
A boardroom of teflons. (like gaggle of geese and flock of sheep)
Chenthil: teflon group blogs
me: Our annual general teflon meetings
I teflon, therefore I am
Chenthil: I am teflon
me: Profession: Quality Teflon Architect
Chenthil: or a teflon writer
me: I run a small teflon agency.
Chenthil: Manager, International Teflons
me: ROTFL
TFL – Teflon Founders Limited
heh, no
TFL - teflon fixers league.

Chenthil: post post this

There you have it. Teflon – the verb, the adverb, the adjective, the noun and the gerund. And, if I may say so, a brilliant gerund.

P.S. Unfortunate as it is, I had to take His Name in vain. The He in this post is not Him, but his representative on earth.

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