Selective Amnesia

This news telecast is brought to you by Emirates Airlines.

Hello, and welcome to Selective Amnesia, the Dubai version.

The news from this part of the world is, two factions are at each other’s throats over the issue of Dubai’s pincode and postal jurisdiction. The Malayalee claim, that because there are more mallus than any other race, Dubai will naturally be a dominion of Kerala, and therefore come under Ernakulam post office has been hotly contested, justifiably so, by the Tamils. The Tamils’s retort, a rather logical one – Kerala has no Saravana Bhavan branches, and therefore, Dubai should come under GPO, Mount Road, and be assigned the pincode 600078. The Tamils also say that Dubai can never be Kerala, for there’s not a single coconut tree to be seen here. Watch this space as we report on the development, 20 times a day, in excruciatingly boring detail.

In other news, Dubai has declared that the Crane will gain official status as the UAE’s national bird. Even as I report, I can spot two members of the species, hard at work, hoisting iron pipes on a building site. Naturalists and evil capitalists both rejoice, and perhaps for the first time so. A coffee-table book is under production, detailing the birds many sub-species and associated plumage.

A short commercial break, before we take a look at sports news.
iPod + iTunes, is the way to go, says Paul McCartney

Welcome back.

Sporting glory and the fight to the top is still alive, and well. Dubai lives up to the old saying ‘Altius, fortius, coitus…err.citius’ in true UAE style. A new world record was set a week back, for pumping, not iron, but concrete, up 460 metres. The record goes to Emaar, the builder of the Burj Dubai. Burj Dubai, for those late to this show, is currently in training to be the tallest structure on earth.

Meanwhile, bachelors of Dubai are pegged to take the top honours in the new sport of RushforStudioApartment race. Here again, we see the Tamils at a slight advantage – due their practice of running behind Madras’ buses at peak hour.

Stay tuned, ladies and sexually deprived men, for even more UAE news.

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