Selective Amnesia

Job interview 101

Once in a while, there comes an interviewer who knows who and what and how good I am. This post is not about that person. Your agency, even if young, is something I am interested in. Thank you sir.

This whole ‘Good cop, bad cop’ routine is fucked to death. Especially the ones that are done badly, you can smell it a mile away. You realise the futility of it, you see the illogic in it. Yet, you decide to play along, for, hey, it’s a job. Which pays money.

Just for once, dear givers of jobs and conductors of interviews, give the guy sitting in front of you some credit. He’s not stupid, you know. If he were, you wouldn’t be asking him in for an ‘open discussion’, now, would you? Unless your organisation wanted stupid people, that is. In which case, sorry, I didn’t see the obvious.

What the heck is with ‘Tell me about yourself’? Everything relevant and worthwhile about me is on the thing called CV I mailed you. Questions on my drinking habit, whether I am a goody-good tam-bram, my girlfriend and more don’t reflect on my ability to do the job. Well, yes, the drinking habit thing does, in a way. But…

And, dear other givers of jobs, what is the point about ‘You need to have an objective!’ all about? My objective is to screw your organisation, swindle your clients and become the world’s worst writer.

Suffice it to say, I have an objective I am working towards. How does it matter I put it on my CV or not?

Of course, I will inflate my current salary. Like, DOH!

Can I do the job, even if it involves late hours? Yes.
Will I make an issue about it tomorrow? You betcha.
But this is an advertising agency! Oh, Master of my soul! Please do forgive my digression. I assumed ad-agency employees are people too, who like their beauty sleep. I see now, how wrong I was.

Why advertising, why not journalism or why not is rather stale, don’t you think? And no, not all copywriters are frustrated writers or wannabe film-makers. Some just like the bloody job.

Referring to the point on the ‘good cop, bad cop’ routine, would it be too much to ask for consistency when you two play your roles? I mistake it for the first signs of intelligence.

And, ‘What is the one ad you really like?’ is as stale, if not staler, than the one about why advertising. Seriously. For the record, I hate all the ads currently on TV. I do.

Listen, for the last effing time. I am in advertising, copywriting, above all for the fun. And because I like the job. I don’t do something, or stick around, if I don’t like it.

Yes. I’ve jumped too many jobs in my 4 years of advertising. I don’t regret it.

Notice to potential job-givers: No, no. I am not at all like this. I am a very good, non-drinking, non-smoking, curd-rice-eating tam-bram. I really am. I would LOVE to work for your company and I can tell you with a clear conscience that your company is the best in its field.