English. As she’s murdered

So, I get this mail from a HR firm, asking me to apply for a sales job. I think I will be of better use to them in the e-mail despatch department. Here’s the mail, no changes, no exaggerations.


From: thesuncorp@yahoo.co.in < thesuncorp@yahoo.co.in>
Date: Oct 10, 2006 1:35 PM
Subject: interview date has scheduled with aviva
To:

AVIVA

We have an opening with our client Aviva Life Insurance company (MNC) which is worlds seventh largest Insurance company with a brand name Aviva.Aviva is an UK based accompany & is a joint collaboration with Dabur (Indias leading FMCG company).It is an Fortune company.They are looking for Sales Manager based at (Thrissure/banglore / Chennai )

Candidate Profile: Candidate should be a graduate with minimum 4-10 years of sales experience in any FMCG/CD/Pharma/Banking/Insurance etc. Candidate should have a good exposure ( i.e. at least 3 years of experience in banglore /Chennai )is required and
(and minimum 1 year experience for the post based at thrissure /cochin)
Job Profile:

1) Recruiting the Financial Advisors.
2) Motivating them, Training them and getting the Insurance Policies.
3) Setting sales target for team members (FA’s) and ensuring delivery of the same.
4) Planning! and forecasting business.
5) To manage Financial Advisors comprising of 30 – 40.
6) Building Relations with influential people and motivate them to become an Financial Advisor.
7) At the same time you will be meeting some Corporate level clients and getting the Insurance policies.
8) To maintain good relationship and achieve customer satisfaction.

Incase if you are interested in the above Job kindly send your updated CV mentioning your current salary and expected salary (must). For further details you can even refer the website i.e. www.avivaindia.com. Requirement is very urgent. You can also call me to discuss further or confirm your accept! ance. Interview will be conducted on this week and Requi! rement i s very urgent.

If u already received mail kindly ignore this
Regards,
RADHIKA.

THE SUNTECH CORP (MANPOWER CONSULTANTS)
, 2ND FLOOR, GUPTA NILAYAM,
OPP, DECCAN CLUB, 10-2-195, EAST MAREDPALLY,
SECUNDERABAD-26 TEL: 040-39182060/3050/3131

Mallus: Go on strike. They spelt Thrissur wrong.
Digs (and Bangalore-ians): They didn’t capitalise the name of your capital city. Go on a bandh, burn up shops and sing old Rajkumar songs.
Tams: They didn’t do anything to enrage you. Go on a fast, invoke the spirits of your forefathers and hold public meetings where you will speak with fiery rhetoric and achieve nothing at all.
Gults: Why are you silent? Here’s a tam (me) who’s making fun of people from your state. Do something, anything. Join Microsoft by the 1000s and rewrite the dictionary and spell-check module on Word

[Disclaimer: Not intended to make fun of Aviva, really.]

Posted by Chandrachoodan Gopalakrishnan on October 10th, 2006 | Filed in General/Unclassified |


10 Responses to “English. As she’s murdered”

  1. Jax Says:

    You forgot the northies :-)

  2. Chandrachoodan Gopalakrishnan Says:

    Jax: That’s another post altogether.

  3. I Says:

    Idhukku dhan appave sonen. Tamil Nadhu seperate country venum nu..

  4. sriram Says:

    ada cha.. idellam oru pozhappu.
    dei ‘I’, suresh un komanatha avuthaalum nee ellam thirundave matta. saniyane..

  5. Lalita Says:

    I cringe. I wish I could accuse you of making it up or doctoring it, but I have read worse. Still, I cringe.

  6. catcharun Says:

    u have a very good exposure da..all ur photo good lighting..go apply

    and just like they taught me in 3rd standard integral calculus
    3 years at chennai = 1 year at cochin..

  7. Chandrachoodan Gopalakrishnan Says:

    I: Yes, Tamil Suyyaatchi Kazhagam needed. I begin one now

    Sriram: What to do, we are all like that only

    Lalita: I happy, you cringe. World like that only

    Arun: Yesh, yesh! I got exposure good. I go now. Bye.

  8. Sleepyface Says:

    it be Bangalore-ians not

    it be Bangaloreans

  9. vijay Says:

    http://www.clearenglish.in

  10. Deemix Says:

    Killer language skills!

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